Teach the house rules. Its almost bedtime.. First, take a deep breath, and know that hitting and biting are common behaviors in kids aged two and three. Always watch your own behavior around your child. You may have to hold their hand and keep them close. Whenever children break an important rule, they should be reprimanded immediately to understand exactly what they have done wrong. Montessori discipline involves a great deal of patience, but the same can be said for any style of parenting. Montessori is, however, all in the eyes of the beholder. For instance, if a child is talking to neighbors in class, remind them that it is important to listen to the teacher so that they learn the lesson of the day. While it is important to discuss your childs feelings, it is also important to help them understand how others might feel from their aggressive behavior. Probably one of the most worrying things to witness as a parent is seeing your perfect little angel turn into a mean machine that bites, kicks, and hits playmates. Make sure your child knows you are listening. Respectful communication We speak and listen to our children with respect. 1) speech activity- you can teach sounds or phonetics slowly like vowels as its used every word. In addition to lessons, which teach social graces, there is a lot of emphasis placed on developing practical life skills. There is a classic story about the mother who believed in spanking as a necessary part of discipline until one day she observed her three-year-old daughter hitting her one-year-old son. Freedom and discipline walk hand in hand in Montessori pedagogy. For example, provide your toddler with a wide range of motion and freedom within your house. Montessori discipline avoids the typical because I said so response and instead emphasizes the need to help children understand. And dont forget one of the best ways to follow me by signing up for my weekly newsletter. Here are 8 tips for a Montessori approach to discipline. As children move into elementary school, it is important to continue to talk about choices and consequences often. Coming from the perspective of an enslaved people . I always say without connection we get very little cooperation. But thats perhaps a post for another day, * a handy checklist here for setting limits Montessori-style Whether in the home or the classroom it is important to keep in mind the ultimate goal of discipline. There is a common misconception that Montessori children are allowed to do whatever they like. Two ground rules guide discipline in most Montessori classrooms: that students take care of themselves and others in the environment, and that students care for the material things in the environment. Simplicity is key for young children, in just about every aspect of their lives. Maria Montessori, The Absorbent Mind. 1. Kind and clear limits When we are clear on the house rules, the children are too. These sandpaper letters provide and excellent opportunity for children to learn and understand the letters beginning at a young age. Montessori discipline methods are comparable to those used in a positive parenting environment. It can be easy to fall into a be obedient or else mode of discipline, especially as children get older. Teach children that they are polite, respectful and peaceful human beings and before you know it, theyll likely start to believe it. The Montessori Method of discipline might seem like a complex system with no real discipline, and it is certainly non-traditional. Thank you for this post and the videos, very helpful. Many of this information triggers emotions. and get free geography album, monthly subscriber freebie, and access to the Living Montessori Now Resource Library! During an outburst, tell children, I understand your anger. When I became a foster mother, I started researching different parenting and education ideas. So much information in this post. It is important to make children aware that they have the freedom to choose their actions and to begin developing an understanding of the consequences of those actions through conversation. When disciplining a preschooler using the Montessori Method, it is time to have conversations using clear, direct language and vocabulary that the child can understand. If there are too many limits, the child will feel like they live in a dictatorship and may be too scared to do things or, worse, sneak behind our backs so they wont be caught. | 20+ At Home Activities, 45+ Montessori Sensorial Activities and Materials, Montessori Practical Life: Activities and Ideas to Build Skills, The 13 Best Montessori Blogs for Tips & Inspiration, Treats children as equals with parents as a guide, Provides opportunities for problem solving, Allows children to process their own emotions, Focuses on internal motivation rather than rewards/bribes, Labels, acknowledges and defines emotions, Provide freedom within limits with clear, consistent boundaries, Allow quiet time for children to calm down and/or process, Practice respectful communication both ways, Demonstrate or assist the child with making amends, Help the child understand the consequences of their actions, Ask the child how those effected might be feeling, They cant exert independence in the ways they wish, They have been rewarded for bad behavior with attention. If you see your child hit or bite another child, check on your childs victim first. Whether youve disciplined for years in a very different manner or are just learning with your first child, these tactics are practical and easy to implement. These everyday living skills such as pouring, scrubbing tables, dish washing, and polishing, also help the child learn to focus his attention and complete a task. Beautiful classrooms with age appropriate Montessori learning material. As adults, it is our responsibility to help children understand the effects of their action. Preschoolers can understand how another person wants them to behave and can process that information enough to express it through their own behavior. Many extra activities such as Dance, Music, Art, Computers, Multi . Children of different ages will require a different approach to discipline under the Montessori Method, working eventually to foster what Montessori called joyful obedience.. It is important to be on the same page and have consistency with how its handled. Montessori For Today was started to provide answers to my own questions, which will hopefully become a great resource for others to learn about the Montessori Method, Montessori Schools, and how you can incorporate elements of Montessori into your own home and lifestyle. For instance, you can say I saw you kick your friend Tommy when he took your ball. A democratic parenting style is recommended, rather than the authoritarian style with which most of us grew up. Before the age of three a child is truly unable to obey unless what is asked of her happens to correspond with one of her vital urges. International Montessori Society. This, of course, requires that you stay close to your children and observe their behaviors. Free 44-page PDF of Montessori activities for babies, toddlers and preschoolers, 3. Montessori letters provide a tactile, sensory experience for children. We cannot expect children to control their own emotions if we ourselves are having meltdowns in front of them. These conversations will build trust between the parent or educator and the child; they will also remind the children that you respect them, their desires, and their emotions and help them to give you that respect in return. Find ways to solve problems together Instead of bribing them to do something, we can find ways to work with them. The part of the brain (pre-frontal cortex) that controls emotional regulation, reasoning, aggression, and self-control has not yet developed. Learning about the Montessori Method has been intriguing and fascinating, and I have enjoyed watching the little ones in my life learn and grow from incorporating Montessori elements into our family's lifestyle.Montessori For Today was started to provide answers to my own questions, which will hopefully become a great resource for others to learn about the Montessori Method, Montessori Schools, and how you can incorporate elements of Montessori into your own home and lifestyle. Timeout, as a practice of negative reinforcement, is generally discouraged in the Montessori Method, but lets understand why that is. If your child calms down, give them another chance to play with the other kids. Hi, Im Maggie! Parents generally rely on the wisdom of grandparents and doctors educators, as well as their own instincts to determine the right parenting style for their family. Treat the child with respect so that they will respect you in return by helping them to learn from mistakes rather than scolding or using negative reinforcement. At this stage, her personality hasnt formed to the level where she is capable of making a choice to obey. A Montessori approach to discipline requires patience and a lot of repetition on our part. These special skills are taught with the Grace and Courtesy lessons. Keep in mind these services need to be obtained before the childs 3rd birthday. These methods will not fix things overnight, so remember to give it time and have patience with the toddler in your life. However, you can use this to observe when your child is showing negative behavior. They say prevention is better than cure. When schools and families develop a partnership there is greater opportunity for consistency and continuity. Montessori schools take a different approach to discipline. You can offer a pillow to hit, kick, or punch, or a teether to bite to help satisfy the urge. There are many times when your child's behavior warms and embraces your heart. If you find it necessary, stay close so you can prevent them from doing any aggressive actions. We welcome all children regardless of race, religion, or national origin. Children who have trouble learning social expectations might be required to stay near the teacher or parent so that they are part of the action while being aware that their actions are under supervision. In reality, Montessori falls in the middle of these two extremes. Here are a few simple tips to make the adjustment to Montessori discipline feel a bit easier and more natural. amzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = "Montessori"; Make sure to have conversations with children when they misbehave to help them understand their emotions and what is causing the misbehavior rather than just providing negative reinforcement. Categories Behavior and Discipline, Montessori Parenting, Home Montessori Parenting Montessori Discipline: Why Toddlers Bite and How to Make it Stop. I am sorry, you are a traumatized and traumatizing parent. A number of different perspectives can be helpful, too. A childs home environment and parents love are the most critical factors in his development. Discipline in the Montessori Method is a constant task that requires parents and educators to work together to inform children of their choices, make them aware of consequences, and use model behaviors and lessons to enforce obedience. They are the foundation of the classroom, as they set a tone of respect and kindness. So the problem was solved: To obtain discipline, give freedom., Maria Montessori, Education for a New World. Beating/ hitting your child is not okay, even if your parents did it to you.A parent should never . The teacher should be a specialist, trained in child development, as well as Montessori Philosophy and methodology for the age group with whom he or she will be working. Im going to have to come back and read/watch it all later. Modern, clean, safe and beautiful infant facility. But, there are other times when it probably drives you a little crazy. If you express your anger in quiet, peaceful ways, your child probably will follow your example. Montessori believed that learners in the crucial years from birth to age six possess extraordinary, innate mental powers to absorb the environment" [12]. Control your own temper. Never assume that a child understands what it means to be respectful of authority. The goals of Montessori reach beyond this, however, to the third level which Montessori called joyful obedience. Thank you so much for putting this all together. This is why you need to understand the approach to Montessori discipline, and the right way to handle the situation. Talk with them about how it affects them and their community through conversations and lessons about what acceptable social behavior is and what behaviors are not acceptable. Sign up for the Living Montessori Now Newsletter & Get Monthly Subscriber Freebies! Instead of seeing the parent or educator as a hindrance to their natural desires, they will begin to see figures of authority as facilitators and gain respect for parents, educators, and other authorities. And if all our children here from us are a bunch of instructions and directives they are not going to listen to us. For young toddlers, we may be modelling how we get a tissue for a friend or a wet cloth for a friend who is hurt. Montessori discipline methods involve a calmer, quite level of intervention. With that being said, Maria Montessori did record quite a few observations that have led to the development of some general guidelines that most Montessori families and schools use to guide their discipline. With all tantrums or meltdowns, its important to give your child the time and tools they need to calm down. Children dont have the critical thinking skills to understand the natural consequences of their actions, which is why conversations about consequences are so important. Help child if they are having a hard time Ill link to an article I wrote about helping children having a tantrum. Your email address will not be published. These types of situations can be avoided by simplifying the environment. Montessori classrooms treat children with respect, and trust them to learn from the mistakes that they make. Montessori activities aide in this as well. Model School Discipline Policy Our School is committed to discipline of children that always dignifies and respects their own true natural inner guidance and self-directed purpose for harmony, order, cooperation and love towards their environment. Visitors commonly issue such comments as, Ive heard Montessori is too free and chaotic or Ive heard Montessori is too structured. It does not seem possible that these two extreme opposites can both be true. Ruby Red LLC also participates in affiliate programs with Awin, ShareASale, Impact, and other sites. When they display undesirable behavior, it can be due to an ignorance of desirable behavior, and it is the job of parents and educators to teach them right from wrong in the Montessori Method. Keep in mind, some of these suggestions may not be appropriate for every age, stage and situation. In order to provide your child with the appropriate amount of freedom and responsibility, youll need to create a safe and fully child-proof environment. Your goal here is to calm them down. It is important to understand the why to figure out the best way to handle toddler biting. . 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