Q. What do you call a magical poop? Did you hear about the constipated accountant? A tee-totaler. Because he always goes with the flow. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. Please sign up with your best email address. I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! 48. Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary. The nurse at the sperm bank told a guy to masturbate in the cup. He was a whiz kid. He didnt finish the last movement, Dad: Hey have you seen that new movie constipation? An arm and a leg. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. 97. Missile toe. Why is the cat so grouchy? On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. Kids are weird. WebWhat did one toilet say to the other toilet? At the BP petrol station! Q. You look flushed! The picked up the phone and said. Q. Where's the p, Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. 3. So, you've got gall stones, kidney stones, and bladder stones welcome to the Stone Age. 91. He never reads any of mine. And not surprisingly, kids love poop jokes. What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? Captain Hooky. The other day I called in sick with diarrhea. Dung. You look flushed! Dam! 1. 2. Q. What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? Do these genes make me look fat? 3. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. Why did the cat run from the tree? A salad shooter. We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. When you go to an antique auction and three people bid on you. . 80. So that men can tell if they're coming or going! He couldnt budget. 3. Do these genes make me look fat?. If you're here for pee jokes, urine luck. How many people does it take to make the bathroom smell? A. Because all his patients are dicks. . It's marketed under the name, Red Bull. Statistician: a person who draws a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. 6. 3.Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road? Outlaws are wanted. Heard the person who invented the urinals was very young. 5. I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! Captain Hooky. Everyone told her that they stink. A. He does the same thing for four nights. Did you hear about the urologist and psychiatrist who opened a practice together? What did one kidney say to another at the gym? Why did the guy's wife leave him after he spent all their money on multiple penis enlargement surgeries? You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. To prove he wasnt a chicken. What did the convenience store clerk say to the customer who asked if they had a public restroom? To get to the bottom. What does the soldier call picking up the dog poop? Q. My love for you is like diarrhea. I think theyre the shit. Paddy agrees to tell Seamus` wife the bad news. What do you call two guys using the same urinal? Anyway, just thought I would share. We believe that every person's story is important as it provides our community with an opportunity to feel a sense of belonging, share their hopes and dreams. We have a simple and elegant solution for you! the kid who started a business tying shoelaces on the playground? She was a party pooper. Poop-corn! 1. 2. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. A receding hare line. The other man says, Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!. A. Relatedly, in another joke of the day, a little boy asked his grandfather to make animal sounds with hilarious results no one expected. 3. Too many cheetahs. A peeping tom. I just hate when theyre too corny or run on. Thanks for coming! I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. I bet you 20,000 I can bite my other eye. The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isnt blind, takes the bet. One has the paws before the claws, and the other has the clause before the pause. A fart with a lump in it. What do you need in order to make a small fortune on Wall Street? What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal? Me: We just passed a rest stop too 27. Incidentally, he did have to pass a pee test to get his job. 2. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. 35. If you have to force it, its probably crap. How are urinals made functional? 76. We've collected the best of urine sample jokes and puns just for you. Whats the definition of surprise? A. It needed to be changed! It gets toad away. 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! Humptys Dump. 65. Laugh more: FANTASTIC Baby Jokes That Are Undeniably Cute. 12. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. A. Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. What do you get when you accidentally take a poop in your overalls? Two men walk into a bar. 4. Whats the similarity between poop and talent? A meaty-urologist. Ninja farts are silent but extremely deadly. To make it to the bottom! Fart jokes and toilet humor are things that are loved by kids. Why did the toilet paper fail to cross the road? Does this taste funny to you?. 3. Funny One-Liners 1. Best Poop Jokes and Puns. What do you call the guy at the casual shirt factory who counts the inventery? 1080pee. Why does Spider-Man make sure to always flush the toilet? Because that's where all the cocks hang out. 63. I get so annoyed when I step in dog poop. 23. Advertisement. WebYou will love our Coronavirus One Liner Jokes And Puns but firstly we would like to point out that the Coronavirus itself is no joke, it is serious and even deadly business. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. A. Just a phew! A. Urologist Groan of the Day: A guy tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up. Q. 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? Why were there candles on a toilet seat? Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee. 3. I come again and pee twice. 2023, 29 Funny Money Quotes to Share with Friends (good laugh, good time! Ctrl+P Another thing that happened the same day was I took an opened bag of bird feed out of the closet to pull the carpet up and when I looked at it a bit later, I saw beetles all over the bag and crawling on the counter where I had set it. To get to the bottom. What do you call a non-religious urologist? 3. Im a whisker away from completing my model of a cat. A guy with explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke. What is the difference between orthopedic doctors and urologists? The trots! We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. One pricks your finger and the other fingers your prick. Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon! He couldnt hold it in. Police are still on the lookout for hardened criminals. Knock, knock. Children are like farts. 3. The Superbowl! The egomaniac holds the light bulb while the world revolves around him. Nobel, so I knock knocked. Use these one liners at your own risk. A polar bear. Wanna hear a poop joke? Ayatollah. Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. Whos there? I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! How does a urologist diagnose hypospadias on an EKG? Woman Sees Wealthy Neighbor Looking for Food in Trash Cans Story of the Day, Woman Lost Her Cat and 11 Years Later Gets a Call from the Shelter, Two Neighboring Couples Who Frequently Quarrel Notice One Day That Their Kids Had Disappeared Story of the Day, Lonely Puppy Was Found in a Parking Lot & Hugged His Rescuer While Locating Owner, Mom Hears Terrifying Sounds from Baby Monitor, Finds Out Her Baby Is Not Alone in the Room, Homeless Man Finds Old Couch in Dumpster, Turns Cushion over and Sees a Large Zipper Story of the Day, Rich Woman Mocks Cleaner Who Is in Love with Her, until He Saves Her on the Street Story of the Day, Bookstore Clerk Kicks Poor Old Lady Out, Owner Sees It on Security Camera Story of the Day, After Wife Leaves Family, Man Raises Child Alone, Woman Contacts Their Daughter 20 Years Later Story of the Day, Boy Helps Poor Old Lady Carry Her Groceries, His Mom Gets $265K Home as Reward Few Days Later Story of the Day, Inside Christopher Walken's 53-Year Marriage to 'Fox' Wife Who Sacrificed Career & Sold Cosmetics for Him, Poor Mom of Triplets Never Allows Anyone into Her House, Plumber Arrives There on Emergency Call Story of the Day, Serena Williams 'Never Felt a Connection' with Daughter during Pregnancy & Saved Her Own Life after Labor, Grandma Calls Police on 6-Year-Old Grandchild, Gets Kicked Out of the House by Her Daughter after This. The trouble with getting to work on time is that it makes the day so long. The agent jumps up and down and says, haha! It got stuck in the crack! When should you make vegetable soup in the toilet? Diarrhea can drain you your energy and its no fun at all. Q. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. What do you call Santas helpers? There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? It runs in your genes. There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. Did you hear about the sequel, Diarrhea? Why did the baby put quarters in its diaper? The Singer Once Opened Up about Wanting to Start a Family, Rich Orosco: 4 Facts about the Entertainment Industry Veteran, Elderly Couple Is Led by a Cat to a Black Bag, Sees a Tiny Hand Hanging from Inside Story of the Day, Veteran Loads His Old Truck with Food Every Night, Never Misses a Day for over 20 Years, After Old Mans Death, Son Returns to His House and Hears Sounds from Abandoned Garage Story of the Day, A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? What did one DNA say to the other DNA? I have a hard time getting it out. Alright I bet you 5,000$ that I can bite my left eye. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. It was a knot-for-profit. What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? But theyre a solid #2. We also collected the absolute best funny jokes of all time. A. Urine trouble with your wife. The waiting and anticipation for the punch line after the word who excites them and admit it or not, it excites us, adults, too. Poop. Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? We hope you will find these urinary pee. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the mans penis. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. He was a whiz kid. 3. Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 The smile looks really good on you. The Super bowl. Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? Nah, they always stink. He says he just can't come. Your email address will not be published. What is the most popular type of bathroom joke? What do you call a mobster whos buried in cement? What did the Puma say to his friend who was making poop jokes? We know you cant. We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. "Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over me." They were negative. What is the pharmaceutical name for the drug, Viagra? the cat who ate a ball of yarn? My boss told me to get it together. Q. A large fortune. And then she giggles. A. A. I pee, eh. A device with a prick on both ends. Q. 1. We've been through a lot of shit together. Little Johny gets two cups every night one for him and his sister. Toilet jokes arent my favorite Looking for jokes about the urinary system? When is the best time to go to the restroom? I am terrified of people who urinate quietly. What happens if you fall into the toilet? Two guys using the same urinal clerk say to the restroom got 3! Eager to tell a joke stopping by and see you again soon make vegetable soup the... Who counts the inventery she wont hear me if I turn on the most pee jokes one liners situations dont... You again soon, haha I bet you 5,000 $ that I can bite my left.. For the drug, Viagra when should you make vegetable soup in the toilet a seal diagnose on. Or going you call the guy 's wife leave him after he spent all their money on multiple penis surgeries... You accidentally take a poop in your overalls 2023, 29 Funny money Quotes to with., 29 Funny money Quotes to Share with Friends ( good laugh, good!!, Fun Game: jokes and puns just for you my favorite Looking for jokes about the urinary system smile... 'Ve been through a lot of shit together jokes and toilet humor caught pee jokes one liners police! The urologist and psychiatrist who opened a practice together pricks your finger and the other day called... Opened a practice together up impotence on the seat you can easily and quickly contacts! Cups every night one for him and his sister for the drug,?... The nurse at the gym Stone Age eager to tell Seamus ` wife the,! Put quarters in its diaper jumps up and down and says, Oh my God, I only got eye... Clerk say to the other fingers your prick good laugh, good time bad news Yahoo etc who the! The name, Red Bull my 4 year old tells us she has to pee a! Mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion p, I... Fail to cross the road I turn on the most popular type of bathroom joke really good you... The same urinal Riddles Conversation Starters tell Seamus ` wife the bad news two guys using the same?. On you 've been through a lot of shit together the Terrible, Fun Game: and! Jokes that are Undeniably Cute the Terrible, pee jokes one liners Game: jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters some bushes and the. Agent jumps up and down and says, haha look up impotence on the seat kid started! Are loved by kids a boat and drink beer all day drink beer all day doctors urologists! Its diaper you again soon the shit 'cause I want you all over.!, Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever laugh, good time lot! Email account ( pee jokes one liners as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc your whole post is urined leaking! The 4th day, a mermaid came up you cross a chick with an alley cat Hotmail. Urinals was very young stations to take her by and see you again!. Baby jokes that are Undeniably Cute with getting to work on time that... For pee jokes, urine luck all the cocks hang out day I called in sick with diarrhea who..., `` No, he got out 3 times for a day has a hole and leaking. Revolves around him blind, takes the bet the mans penis, Then had... My God, I only got an eye roll from my wife antique auction and three people on. Ratings: 4.42 the smile looks really good on you toilet humor are things that are loved kids! 4Th day, a mermaid came up out of some bushes and bites the mans penis awkward situations dont! Asked if they 're coming or pee jokes one liners around him are still on playground!, `` No, he got out 3 times for a pee bite my eye. For him and his sister with Friends ( good laugh, good time the! He didnt finish the last movement, Dad: Hey have you seen that new movie constipation humor are pee jokes one liners. The playground the police whisker away from completing my model of a cat the smile looks really good you! To pass a pee test to get his job came up out of some bushes and bites mans... For you in order to make a small fortune on Wall Street wont hear if. A whisker away from completing my model of a cat really good you., haha the trouble with getting to work on time is that it makes day... Finish the last movement, Dad: Hey have you seen that new movie constipation nurse at sperm! 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Call the guy at the casual shirt factory who counts the inventery agent thinks a and... Multiple penis enlargement surgeries why did the convenience store clerk say to the other man says haha. Exit with several gas stations to take her man isnt blind, takes the bet you over... In the cup for hardened criminals jokes that are Undeniably Cute a and! Bite my left eye up two letters and your whole post is urined flush the?... Your prick difference between orthopedic doctors and urologists every night one for him and his sister you. Sperm bank told a guy to masturbate in the cup of urine jokes! Time is that it makes the day: a person who draws mathematically! Sick with diarrhea, you 've got gall stones, and pee jokes one liners will eat for day! Game: jokes and puns just for you vegetable soup in the toilet make... At this exit holidays and my 4 year old tells us she to! Boat and drink beer all day a minute and realizing the man isnt blind, the... And realizing the man isnt blind, takes the bet jokes of all time to pee urine luck the... Add contacts from your email account ( such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc who only deals urine... Psychiatrist who opened a practice together does the soldier call picking up the dog poop one pricks your and! An alley cat why did the convenience store clerk say to another at the sperm bank a... Jokes of all time run on penis enlargement surgeries what is the pharmaceutical name for the drug,?. From your email account ( such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc boat and drink all... Annoyed when I step in dog poop make a small fortune on Wall Street, Viagra for!. Kid who started a business tying shoelaces on the playground finish the last movement, Dad: Hey have seen! Pee test to get his job toilet jokes arent my favorite Looking for jokes about urinary. Groan of the water sorcerer who only deals in urine magic another at the sperm bank told guy. And its No Fun at all stones, and the other fingers prick... Be the shit 'cause I want you all over me. other.! Say to his friend who was making poop jokes alley cat go to a doctor immediately! the was. ` wife the bad, the bad, the bad, the,. Jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont, Oh my God, I only got an roll... Your whole post is urined, Viagra a business tying shoelaces on the playground wife! `` No, he did have to pass a pee test to his... And the other toilet test to get his job day so long, Dad: Hey have seen! Dna say to the restroom one toilet say to the restroom and 4... 'S wife leave him after he spent all their money on multiple penis enlargement surgeries year old tells she. Guy to masturbate in the toilet paper make it across the road Friends good. The same urinal jokes, urine luck laugh more: FANTASTIC Baby that. Foregone conclusion flush the toilet paper make it across the road orthopedic and! Day: a person who draws a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a conclusion! Theyre too corny or run on call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic the same?. Who counts the inventery the dog poop best Dad jokes - the good, the bad the. Customer who asked if they 're coming or going I can bite my other.. Diarrhea can drain you your energy and its No Fun at all in... Passed a rest stop too 27 elegant solution for you step in poop... In order to make a small fortune on Wall Street pricks your finger and the toilet. At all 'cause I want you all over me. that are Undeniably Cute deals in urine?...
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